My sweet,
I’d apologize for the lack of writing, but we’re too good of friends and I won’t lie to you, a break has been nice. how have you been doing? I hope you’re still working through a candy pile or at least that the post-celebration come-down has been gentle. do you have plans for the new year? any wishes? anything you’re excited to wave a final goodbye to?
in this strange in-between of holidays, I bring a strange in-between of thoughts. I imagine you’re just as tired right now, but if you’re checking the clock or shuffling your feet these past few days, here’s some reading material and a little holiday journal entry that might be helpful. I love you. I hope this year feels like a breath of relief for all of us.
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today has been hard. this week has been hard. I’ve hated and loved the time and how I’ve used it. my best friend canceled her holiday trip back home. her family’s judgment becomes exhausting, and she balances grief and the thrill of independence. I haven’t spent christmas with my family for years, and am going through my own heartache. we spend the week laughing and sobbing and holding each other. we went out on a drive to see the lights, we screamed in this empty house until the windows rattled; we spent three hours cooking this gorgeous christmas dinner together. and even when my stomach is too anxious to eat or her chest gets too tight, we watch stupid videos, sing off-key, and start laughing again. there will always be this to come back to. easy breathing. my hands held to my sides. knowing there is another space beyond this, a place to rest past the hurting.
NEW LOVE SONG, published by Hooligan Magazine
If My Thoughts Could Catch Their Breath, published by Hooligan Magazine
with love,
schuyler (sky-ler)
venmo: schuylerpeck